Biography
When I was in prep, I disliked school and spent my time drawing at the back of the class. Over a period of a few days I drew an elaborate map that everyone loved, I even got a gold sticker from the principal, which made me feel really good. However, as I started a new drawing, I was told I had to participate in the class activities, even though all I really wanted to do was draw. I had always found school a difficult place to be.
In 2012 I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, a diagnosis I did not understand at the time. As time has gone by I have started to make sense of my struggles in regulating my emotions and expressing them in healthy ways, but I have always found it hard to find a place in this world and connect with people, and I started to isolate myself and fell into a deep depression.
In 2017 I was admitted to hospital. I was feeling very isolated and disconnected. I would sit in the art room because it was quiet. I would try to express myself by drawing faces and some people started to understand what I was trying to voice. At a recovery centre I drew three faces that I felt represented how I was feeling, and a lot of people got it. I heard words like ‘pain’, ‘despair’ and ‘powerful’. It made me feel less alone, it made me feel like I was understood.
Later that year I moved into supported living, a sometimes chaotic environment with many unique characters that have complex mental health issues. We all live under the one roof, with staff here 24/7. It's a place with very little privacy and peace with complex interrelationships between residents and staff. It's a place where you can enjoy a quiet afternoon and then have it suddenly interrupted by someone screaming bloody murder.
Despite the chaos I wanted to do a big portrait but with limited art supplies the largest surface I had was a cardboard box. It was a horrible surface to draw on because of its corrugated grooves, but after finishing the portrait, I really liked how the charcoal brought out those grooves and imperfections. I also enjoyed that there was another dimension I could draw on, and that it takes up space and has a presence in the room.
I feel a strong need to create art to feel connected and understood. I like to talk to people in my life, those who live with me in supported living, about their experiences with housing and mental health. They share their stories, and I capture their expressions in the box. Then these boxes will be placed in public, exposed to the elements, putting them through a phase of change, evolving, and illustrating the subject's resilience and the reality of mental health.